"It Will Completely Change Our Understanding Of Cats"

This sentence popped into my head today.

"It will completely change our understanding of cats," I said to my mom.

"What will?" she replied. I shrugged, and we continued walking, but I began pondering the question. What would completely change our understanding of cats?

My first thought would be that a single cat would have to do something fantastic, like become a master chef or golf champion, climb Mount Everest, or direct an Oscar-winning movie. But such acts couldn't completely change our understanding of cats, because only a single cat would be doing it. A single human has glow-in-the-dark eyes, a single human invented penicillin, and a single human had the greatest name in history (Nathaniel Bacon), but these haven't changed our complete understanding of humans. So what would make such an impact on our understanding of cats? They would have to work in a group.

What would cats do in a group? They wouldn't do any benign activity, like synchronized swimming or curling. Cats are devious little critters, you know it from the look in their eyes. With the powers of all the cats in the world combined, they could take over the world, and that's just what they would do. They would take over the world, and become the new overlords of all humans, something that would completely change our understanding of cats.

I thought my investigation was done, but I continued to ponder, as we ponderers do, about cats. We feed them and give them a place to sleep. Some of us even give them clothes to wear, which repulse the rest of us. We are at our cats' beck and call. The cats already rule us. They are already our overlords. We just have to accept this. We have to completely change our understanding of cats.

Today, in Israel, I haven't done much. For the first time during the trip, I got to sleep in, and did so until 10:25. I was looking forward to not doing much today. This blog post would've been a wonderful companion to Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song" and a nice brandy, or perhaps a Sauvingnon Blanc 1974, or some strawberry milk. Alas, my parents made me get up and go to an art museum with them.

I was looking forward to seeing some art (Carney, Garfunkel), but it turned out my mom had misread the website and as we got there the museum was about to close. We left, and I looked for some lunch, until my parents suggested I have ice cream instead of lunch. To most people, this would be baffling, a complete reversal of a classic sitcom joke, but my family follows the A.I.C.R.N policy (Always Ice Cream Right Now), so I understood. (I love commas.) We went for ice cream, and that was the day's grand adventure.

Even though we didn't go to the museum, we got in an hour of walking, so it was only the second-least-eventful day of the trip. (#1 will be tomorrow, where the main activity will be sitting in a car and listening to music. The blog post will be very exciting. Stay tuned.) Back at the apartment, I did some math homework (Rejoice!) and wrote this blog. There's still some of the day left, but I have a pretty good idea of what will happen, so I'll just blog it now:

We went to dinner. The restaurant was overlooking the sea. The food was delicious. The sunset was beautiful. We came back to the apartment and I went to sleep. The End.








Cats.

We Shall Overcome.