Things Called Ferris

There are two well-known things with the word Ferris in their name. One is Ferris Bueller, a fictional character from a great film.

Bom. Bom. Chick. Chickachicka.

The other is less great. I am referring to ferris wheels, the worst amusement park rides ever created. Yes, worse than the teacups. What do you have against the teacups? I like the teacups!

Especially with kittens inside!

Seriously, though, ferris wheels are awful. You just kinda sit there. No motion, no excitement. More often than not you're not moving at all because people are getting on. When you are moving, it's simply not very fun. You spend the entire time wanting to get off. Recently, I went on a trip and my group went on the Toys 'R Us ferris wheel in Times Square. I abstained, and walked up the flight of stairs to where my friends would be at the top of the ferris wheel. It was equally fun and there was candy. Which makes it better.

I cannot think of a single sentence where adding "and there was candy" to the end does not make it better.

That's the Eye Of London, best known for being in the city where they film the great TV show Sherlock. It's a famous ferris wheel. It's as boring as any ferris wheel, but you get a great view of the city. (A city not worth viewing as much as New York, because it lacks the naked cowboy.)

Here's the thing about the Eye of London: you could get the same view from an observation deck, which requires you to take a ride in an elevator, which is more fun than a ferris wheel. Also, what if instead of a ferris wheel, it was a roller coaster? Then it would be the small intestine of London!

The human small intestine.

This is not a rant, it is a Public Service Announcement: Never ride a ferris wheel, it will not add any joy to your life in any way.

Do watch Ferris Bueller. Good movie.

Danke Schoen, darling, Danke Schoen.