The Greatest Man to Ever Live

Today was the last day of our Trip To Israel Then Jordan But Not For As Long Then Back To Israel Just For A Night And Then Home during which any activities happened. One activity happened, and it was pretty awesome. Still in the "Then Jordan" part of our journey, we had a buffet breakfast that had the potential for excellence, but was crippled by its lack of bacon. After eating, we set out for the jeep tour we were to take in the mountain range Wadi Rum. Driving us to the jeep was our guide for the day, Ali.

Sorry, wrong one.

There we go. Epic, just epic.

I say, sincerely, that Ali is the greatest human to ever live. He laughs in the face of danger. Seriously. There were several points during the tour where the rest of us were terrified and he just laughed and laughed.

We were driving through the desert when Ali randomly drove the car up the face of the mountain. It was at this point we would be taking our desert jeep tour in the Toyota Fortuner.

The greatest vehicle ever devised by man.

Ali drove this thing up an down the sides of mountains, through countless sand dunes, and into the bowels of my soul. (Not really, but I believe good writing comes in groups of three, and we didn't really drive through anything but sand dunes and mountains.) All along the way, he told us facts about the area, as tour guides generally do. The place was beautiful. 

Trip Highlights:

• My technologically-challenged mom attempting to take a picture of us
• The roller coaster-esque van experience
• Ali

Just look at him. Magnificent.

After the jeep [sic] tour, we went back over the border and started driving to the hotel, fifteen minutes from the airport, where I now sit writing this as we pack. Along the way, we complained about sore parts of our bodies,  stopped for peeing and ice cream, and listened to Billy Joel's badly-done cover of my song "Piano Man." (See? Three clauses!) My sisters also informed me that drugs make you eat people, and that all honeymoons have chaperones to monitor the couple while they're having sex so they don't mess up. I had not heard such things before, and am glad to have learned them.

Our hotel is above a shopping mall, where I went for a lovely dinner at McDonald's. It was the first time I'd been to McDonald's in months, because it's so unhealthy. The problem with McDonald's is that their food tastes delicious, so it made it very hard not to eat my entire burger-that-was-much-bigger-than-I-thought-it-was-when-I-ordered-it. I did anyway. Alas, no McFlurry.

Tomorrow my Trip To Israel Then Jordan But Not For As Long Then Back To Israel Just For A Night And Then Home is over. This means my English class assignment is done, and I can stop blogging, but blogging is fun, so I'm not going to stop. You high-double-digits-number-of-people-I-know-personally need my insight on the world, so I'll keep blogging everyday. If you like it, show your friends! Show your very literate dog! Show any famous people you happen to know, that I might become famous by association.

This is Nate Perlmeter, your tour guide to Israel Then Jordan But Not For As Long Then Back To Israel Just For A Night And Then Home, signing off.

Tomorrow, a retrospective on the trip, full of witty photo captions, and footage of whatever take-out food we get after getting home at 6:00 P.M.