Pixar From Best to Worst : Part 1

I just got home from seeing Brave, the latest Pixar movie. I enjoyed it. I recommend seeing it. It was sweet and funny, the music and voice acting were great, the visuals were amazing, and the short it aired with, La Luna, was a real treat. Brave was everything you expect from a Pixar movie, but the thing about Pixar is that the whole is always more than the sum of its parts. The whole is something special, something unique, something wonderful, and Brave doesn't quite have it.

In my opinion, Pixar is the greatest movie studio out there right now, if not of all time. Almost every one of their small number of movies is absolutely perfect. It's pretty amazing, and in celebration, I wrote a list of every Pixar movie, from worst to best. Mathematically, the task is impossible. There is more than one perfect Pixar movie, and you can't top perfection, but, I managed to put down a pretty accurate list. Here ye are.

13. Cars 2: 

Cars 2 exists for one reason, and one reason only: because Disney made uncounted gobs of money from merchandising from the first. It shows. The Pixar spirit just isn't there. The story is predictable, and there isn't really any substance. All it has going for it is the jokes, which are plentiful and often hilarious. I liked this movie. It's a funny comedy, but it's not a good movie.

Best Line: (Sushi Chef, after Mater eats mound of wasabi): "My condolences."

12. Cars

The original Cars is the sequel's polar opposite. It's got a big old heart and an at times touching story. The characters are memorable and seem real, quite a feat considering they're cars. The reason it's so low down on the list is because every other Pixar movie has these attributes too, and because the main character, Lightning McQueen, isn't very interesting. Every other Pixar movie has a strong lead, even Cars 2, with Mater, who at least is funny. Cars is funny too, but has some of the cheesiest jokes of any Pixar outing.

Best Line: (Mater to Lightning, as Lightning is hitched up to the disgusting road-cleaning machine after Mater failed to represent him in a court case) "Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees." 

A note: This is a good movie. This is the problem with Pixar. Here we are at number 12, and I already think it's a good movie.

11. A Bug's Life

Funny. Worth watching. Quality movie. Good time. It's understandable this isn't Pixar's finest outing. It was only their second, and they didn't have the momentum of new exciting technology anymore. Still, a good movie, but not a classic.

Best Line: (Flik): "They can't know the truth! The truth, you see, is bad! I will be branded with this mistake for the rest of my life! My children's children will walk down the street and people will point and say, "Look, there goes the spawn of Flik the Loser!"

10. Brave

Now we cross from the realm of good to really good. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The main star is the scenery, and it's breathtaking. The story is charming in its complete strangeness and the performances are great, including Billy Connely (who looks way too much like John Cleese) as the king.

Look at him! Doesn't he look like John Cleese!

But Brave is not a classic, because it tries too hard to be one. After the not-quite-success of Cars 2, the Pixar higher-ups tried to get some of the old magic back, and only ended up with a fairly good imitation. Still, by anyone's standards, a fairly good imitation of Pixar is a wonderful film.

Best Line: (King Fergus, imitation of his daughter) "I don't want to get married, I want to stay single and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset." 

9. Toy Story 2

Toy Story 2 was the first time Pixar made me sad. Jesse's song "When She Loved Me" is just heartbreaking. The movie was a natural continuation on the first, using toys to illustrate mature feelings of parental abandonment, this time going from "having less time spent with you because of someone else" to "being completely out of the picture." Pretty dark for Pixar. But there's also Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. May they forever be a happy couple.

Best Line: (Mr. Potato Head, say it with me now) "Prepare to meet Mr. Angry Eyes!"

8. The Incredibles

Even if it weren't Pixar, The Incredibles would be a great satire. It would still be a great superhero action movie with characters relatable though they have magnificent powers. It would still be a wonderful film. But it is Pixar, and it has Edna, and we are eternally grateful.

Best Line: (Edna Mode) "No Capes!"

7. Toy Story

The first Pixar movie is still a marvel of computer animation and writing. Along with its sequel, it has a 100% critic approval rating. The characters, however inanimate, seem real, and "You've Got A Friend In Me" will never stop being stuck in our heads. A classic movie.

Best Line (Buzz, after being told he is a child's plaything)" You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell"

6. Monster's Inc

This one was tough. John Goodman and Billy Crystal's performances still make me laugh. The ingenious story still wows me, and I still gasp at the amazing visuals in the climax. This is one of my favorite movies, and it still is only the sixth best Pixar movie of all time.

Best Line (Roz) "I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always." 

Part 2 Tomorrow!